Sunday, February 16, 2014

Short Story Shuffle!

Here's my tale for the #ShortStoryShuffle, a little game I put together on the @nanopals blog. I guess it needs a title so we'll call it:


So I guess like chateau is just a word for fancy mansion

LOL, but isn’t it castle?

tht so but none of the ones we’ve been to are really castles
A fking catapault would take them down

LOL or a pipe bomb.

ikr, I should look up a recipe

omg dooooo ittttttt lol

that would be so bad. I really should now, just to piss off mom
we’re going to another one tonight
imma do it

she being a bitch?
no dont

yea made me take out my headphones so I have to listen to the stupid guide
can’t understand him at all, hes talking like latin
txting you in secret
and im not gonna do it, jail would suck even worse than her

ROFL were secret buddies
yeah it would

fk yeah
whatchu up to?

messing around online
Tell me about the chateau!

were just getting to it, this whole bus is really weird
like all weirdos

where is it? what’s it called?
that’s really weird, don’t let them touch you

dunno. france somewhere. been on this bus foreverrrrr
lots of creepy trees
called umberlich or something stupid like that
wish we could go to a f1 race instead but she said its stupid and dangerous

glad u still have signal!!


r u still seeing Amal?
he just texted me hey

i wasn’t seeing him, we had shop together

w/e u 2 are lovers I know it

f u

haha jk <3 span="" u="">

woah dude shit just got fked up

whaat? u okay?

yeah we just turned the corner and all of a sudden we werent in forest it’s like this huge valley and a lake

wtf where’s the chateau?

dunno theres like an island in the middle of the lake
think theres a building on it

sounds crazy scary.

yea I dunno

wtf kind of trip did your mom take u on?

all the others were okay but I dunno last one we were at some guy kept talking to her
dont see him here tho

good that would be creepy

hey were gonna get on a boat now I prolly cant txt you 4 sec

kk be safe

dude I think my mom maybe joined a cult
im kinda freakin out

dont get on the boat

too late
i think the guide is like a priest
hes trying to get us to do some chant

jump off
swim back

my mom will kill me
this water is really cold
k they stopped chanting
so glad

did ur mom chant?

a little, she tried to make me but I said no
this island is mad creepy
i dunno this place isnt like the other chateaus
all black and red
super creepy

dude I’m worried about you
its probably draculas house or something

omg lol prolly true

dont joke ur in trouble

its ok
im fine
actually this place is kind of cool
some crazy monsters carved onto the doors

like what?
are there unicorns??

they look like that thing on Craig’s shirts
no unicorns
kinda look like fish

that guy who’s always playing that game?

woah this place reeks
smells like a fkn sewer
there are all these paintings of old dudes and ladies in robes
wtf they’re all holding fish
this is like some long john silvers cult

LOL but dude that’s creepy

this must be some kinda art museum
maybe thats why its all so weird

racist LOL

what’s your mom doing?

she’s reading all the little plaques out loud
least these are pretty much the same
some weird named dude killed this old dude
for the glory of his stupid god
this is just like the vatican
except they have nicer hats

LOL ur hilarious but I still think that place is going to kill you
u should tell your mom you want to leave

i did! she’s not listening…. she says the bus doesn’t go back for another three hours
imma go find the bathroom
think I found some dude’s office instead

don’t look around you’ll probably get cursed

can’t get more cursed than I already am

dude your gonna get in trouble
you should go back to your mom

oh are you my fucking dad now?
I been looking for a new one

sorry sorry
just worried about you

imma steal something


creepy book
another creepy book
some weird star drawing
bunch of fuckers fucking in a pit


fucken my little pony pen case

OMGGGGG okay that place isn’t cursed if it has that

lol you’re ridiculous
kk imma steal this for you
nice its even got pens on the inside
fancy ones w pointy metal heads

omg I can use them with my calligraphy book!
mom bought me one for xmas

at least someone’s mom gets good gifts
i got a self help book titled “will your way out of depression”
and a fucking talking to
when can I become emancipated?

sucks girl

ill just run away
imma draw something on this stupid desk
its covered with drawings
what should I add?

buncha dicks haha
or a dinosaur
eating all the dudes

haha imma do that

god I hope no one comes in
what if you get caught
they’ll like sacrifice you or something
ur mom is probably pissed as hell right now
u there?

fking cut myself
now the dinosaur has colour

u okay?

yah its okay just got got it all over the desk
fk these drawings
im outta here

dont die

holy shit


fking earthquake
I dunno
i think I just heard something roar

get outta there dude
ur a good swimmer
just gtfo

holy shit
its real
holy fucking shit
help me

dude I don’t know where you are
your fb location just says something about spacetime
did you do that?

send help

Ok but I don’t speak french
what do you mean it’s real?

omg mom
it fucking ate mom
im so sorry

where are u?

it changed
it fucking changed
its not my little pony
how did I not see it b4?

wtf r u talking about?
ur scaring me
u there?

the pens are real
the drawings are real
the star
the pit
everythings real except me

mai? it’s been like three days! Where are u? r u okay?
u sound horrible
ive been so scared for you


Anonymous said...

Loved it! Bit of a struggle to read but I was laughing out loud the whole way through.

Unknown said...


Maybe it's because I'm a chronic goddamn texter, but I didn't have any trouble reading. Love how you decided to convey this (also, damn you for having such a brilliant all-dialogue story; I nearly died from all the narration in mine)!

Excellent work, good sir! :D Thanks for sharing and thanks a million for the awesome hat-shuffling adventure!